Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Over six weeks, more cough medicine has reached the draining board/floor than has reached my mouth.

Admittedly a rather strange title, but what the hell, when a random thought occurs to you like that, your first subsequent thought is obviously, 'Now THAT shall be the title of my blog'. Or is that just me..? These things usually are :/
So, straight to the matter at hand: Eid! Or more excitingly, the night before Eid, because I think it's universally agreed that nothing much happens on the actual day other than eating, and planning to go out but then eating again instead.
For us, the night before Eid is inevitably VERY VERY stressful. This is because my mum and brother become very enthusiastic about baking, and decide to bake everything in the recipe book, and then decorate with every kind of sprinkle under the sun. I despise baking and would rather make one simple thing and then leave the kitchen. My mum's enthusiasm for having something baked clashes with the stress of having to make fifty other things for the next day as well. This causes several rifts.
It is fair to say that by one in the morning the brothers had sodded off to bed, whilst my mother and I were at opposite ends of the kitchen with electric tension crackling between us, staring each other out with mad eyes and heat-induced afros. The kitchen was a bomb site of dough stuck to the floor, flour strewn across all surfaces, decorative sprinkles scattered in various locations, half-marinated chicken drumsticks dripping yoghurt onto the sideboard, and burning onions. And yet, on the table between myself and my mother's forcefield of stress, sat a nice pile of baked buns/muffins/cake.
I shouted that I had yet to put some mehndi on my mum. She shouted that she didn't want any on. I shouted that I wasn't putting any on either then. She shouted don't be stupid. I shouted so now you're calling me stupid. And so on.  In the middle of us stood my grandma, who, unable to understand the English, and the fact that my mother and I are both very hot-headed and shouting matches like this are trivial, was attempting to make peace between us, worried that we were going to start throwing heavy kitchen utensils at each other.   It's all in the fun of Eid. :) Don't worry, we'd calmed down by the time we got upstairs. She even persuaded me to put some mehndi on- I could do hers the next day. 
So here is the nicest tasting thing I baked (chocolate buns with melted Galaxy chocolate chunks with chocolate frosting and chocolate buttons on top). I took the best (ie chocolate) aspects from several recipes and combined them. Ahem.
 They were pretty nice. And yes, that is the party tablecloth that my mum loves to put down on Eid. (We never really grow up.) But I still vow not to bake again until next Eid. The stress kills me.

Eid day itself consisted of blurry eyed sleepiness, since I'd only slept two hours, then baking again, then cooking various things, then finally changing from bleary-eyed-floury-pyjamas-me into uncomfortably-jazzed-up-me. On the plus side I got to wear bangles, which I have formed a strange attachment to, even if my hands are too fat to remove them without the help of hand cream :( 

We spent the day at my grandmas, everyone getting together and wasting no time in sitting down and eating everything that had been made. Which of course is fun until you are insulted publicly by certain relatives ¬_¬ BUT we don't take these things personally. PFFT. Myself and the (NICE) cousins became so bored that we went on an acquire-ice-cream trip, which was just peachy. And the day got even slower, as everyone dropped off one by one into comas following the ingestion of more food than they'd had in the previous month altogether.

And that was Eid: We went nowhere, did nothing, and were vaguely uncomfortable in our clothes, but it was still, incredibly, a lot of fun :D Wolves crew, you were bitterly missed :(

Other noteworthy things, which are not Eid related (because, yes, I'm in the mood for rambling. Again.):
  • I have discovered that the word 'Lund' (The name of my old chemistry teacher/Satan) still evokes a physiological reaction in me, causing my arterioles to narrow, and my total peripheral resistance to increase, thus increasing my blood pressure (HELL YES REVISION WIN). I discovered this because the brother (who now has him- Happy fate) was complaining about him in very short, one syllable words, and as I listened I actually felt that familiar old rage within myself. I don't know what I'd do if I ever saw him again. Most likely just spontaneously combust.
  • Speaking of blood pressures, a random man with a clipboard accosted, yes, accosted me in the street today and asked me if I wanted my blood pressure checked. Aside from the obvious, 'WHAT'RE YOU TRYING TO SAY, MATEY? DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED IT CHECKING?!' I was unsure how to respond, so threw him off by saying, 'Actually, I am able to take my own ¬_¬'. This puzzled him sufficiently to make him go away.
  • Despondent Medic is responsible for my rediscovering of Neil Gaiman :D I've read one book of his a while back, and always intended to read more, and am now a bit hooked. Legend of an author. Thank you muchly.
  • The Emad-ness likes to wear a low hat and sunglasses and hide in his car near public buildings. I don't think I need to insinuate any more here :) Much fun was had rediscovering every good track in the universe, for nostalgia reasons. 
  • Mark Wahlberg is the cheaper, 'Lidl' version of Matt Damon.
  • Baby Bear looks incredibly cute with a bubble bath beard. As does Hasan in a school uniform. *Sniff* And Aunty Em is far better at baking than any of her neices, however Delia they try to be ¬_¬ Pfft. 


    And nothing wrong with trying to hide yourself with a hat and aviator sunglasses lol.
    Aah, Eid. Same old, same old. WIN!

  2. Actually, I said it and you said you'd thought that too so DON'T UNDERMINE OUR SYNC THINKING. PFFFT. ¬_¬
    Nothing wrong with it except for looking like..well..one of those people who wears a low hat and shades for authority-avoiding reasons.
    Total win, though, agreed. :D

  3. Great blog title :D And I feel honoured - you mentioned me :) Always happy to help! Did you know he's wrote a Doctor Who episode for the next season??? I can't wait :)
    Nice comeback to the blood pressure guy :)
    You've got to love Eid. And family. Hope it wasn't too bad/stressful :D

  4. Did you know Tom thinks Lund was a brilliant teacher?? Yes I did tell him he was wrong.
    Hope you had a good day! The you vs your mum thing with baking sounded very funny. Also you should bake this amazing cake even though you averse to baking. It has different coloured sponges dyed with food colouring - amazing!
    Hope you are well!

  5. It's complicated: He wrote a Doctor Who!? ARGH! So excited for the series :D Yeah I'm really glad to have rediscovered him, he's awesome. And nah, Eid's always stressful but it was a lot of fun overall thanks, hope yours was good too!

    Byrony: HELLO! Truthfully, I'dve been less horrified if I found out Tom was a Nazi Sympathiser. Tell him to SORT IT OUT. :P Lol, yes, there are a lot of showdowns in our kitchen, due to heat + short fuses. The cake sounds cool! I'd be willing to try it :D *WAVES BACK WITH SIMILARLY PURPLE HANDS* xxx

  6. Eid was pretty much the same here. The bit about you and your mum in the kitchen is hilarious. The choc buns look scrumdidily umptious! Aww and your just teasing me about the whole baking thing! No seriously are you?!
    Your recipe book is in progress, haven't forgttn you emad!
    Eid Mubarak everyone, Eid Mubarak Emad, hope you had a top Eid.

  7. i Love Chaand raat, i Love when my mum bakes yummy things (cos i Love food). I got my hands done with Henna after years ..thanks to my mum. =/ I kinda like it, though.

    Your blog is Fun =o

    visit mine plz ^^

  8. hahahaha. what a great post. you and your mom are too funny!

    Belated Eid Mubarak!