Thursday, 25 February 2010

I am Jack's raging bile duct.

'What would you hear if you placed a stethoscope over an artery where the flow is turbulent?'
My answer: 'A small voice.' I feel that this sums up my academic prowess.

The Southern accent makes me want to burn people, I'm sorry. I encountered a group of four physics students on the bus, whose conversation went something like (okay, exactly like):
'So is THAT what you're saying: that COMmunism would work in SPACE?'
'Of COURSE it would. EVErybody would be dead. Therefore EVErybody would be equal.'
*A chorus of snotty, smug laughter*
'OH, my God. I just LITERALLY CANnot believe that they've transLATED the word 'entRADA' on that restaurant door into ENGLish underneath. It's like LITerally the most BASic word.'
*More smug, snotty laughter*
You know where in your head you act out an incredibly flash-violent scenario? In my head I stood up, took out my copy of Kumar and Clark's Clinical Medicine (about the size of a small house) and backhand -broke each of their faces.
In real life, I stared out the window and gripped my bag a little bit tighter. Seriously people, if all you've got to say is humourless shit, at least keep your voice down. We do not want to hear your whimsical  little observations on the world. If it reads like I'm overreacting, I had to listen to their conversations for twenty minutes. I was borderline psychotic by the end. 

In more sane news:
I passed my exams! And found out today that I was one off an 'excellent' ¬_¬ Damn them. Still, this is comforting, and I semi-feel like I deserve to be here now.
I cannot switch off. Even as I type this I am trying, on another level of my mind, to remember all the muscles of the forearm.Consequently, my brain hurts.
I have decided I want to be a histopathologist. That way I actually have a medical degree under my belt, but I get to spend the rest of my career tucked away in a lab, diagnosing  away without a git of a consultant breathing down my neck. Hidden away is best for me, I feel. I had a weird thought- I'm not intimidated by the idea of patients, it's interacting with my peers that scares me. Even now- I'm fine talking to people waay older,  or way younger than I am, but an utter fail at talking to other students of my own age.This makes me a freak.
Finally watched Avatar! And it was better than I thought it would be- though I could have predicted the storyline in the first five minutes. Still, it was visually awesome, so it was worth watching. Not that I could sit through it again :| Bloody hell. On another note, the Alice in Wonderland trailer looked AMAZING! :D Well going to see that.
Pizza Express is surprisingly nice. Oh, and speaking of pizza... *Goes off on pizza related thought tangent*
I miss the Office :( Anybody who hasn't watched the US Office- it is utter genius. Today I remembered this clip. Jim's facial expressions are awesome :D
Home tomorrow! I've been home 3 weekends in a row... guess that's what happens when I try to stay here for too long- this is just rebound from when I tried to stay in Leicester for 3 weeks. Still, it's a free ride with the awesomeness that is Aunty M, Hasan, Baby bear and Uncle Naeem (who has threatened to charge me but can't be serious...right?). Yay! Here's to a weekend of no work whatsoever.
And now I am going to Asda for food, before I get down to work. Properly. I WILL get down to work at some point. How I have used my day off so far: iPlayer, eating, watching an anatomy thing on 4OD (which counts as work, aherm), and now further eating. Damn, gotta love food :D

See also: disgusting John West 'light lunches', Robert Downey Jr, re-watching District 9, colouring in, being utterly heartsick, writing poetry (I joke), not getting my five fruits a day, sympathetic post ganglionic nerve fibres, not being able to switch off again, my 100% New Look wardrobe, and hoooooooooommmme :D

Over and out.

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Seeing people as walking X-rays.

Yes, it's a strange side effect to studying anatomy. Everyone in the street is a revision aid. My mum's back was aching yesterday, so (rather unhelpfully) I traced out all her back muscles and informed her (again, rather unhelpfully) which one was aching (trapezius) and which nerve supplied it (spinal accessory!). Last week, myself and Sarah made utter retards of ourselves whilst waiting outside the house we might get for next year, by pondering over extension/flexion/adduction/abduction of the arm and demonstrating each one. People in cars actually stared out of their windows at the two freaks doing windmill impressions. Aherm. I'm hoping it's just a phase.
In other news, I'M HOME! 
In other, more depressing news, I'm leaving in two hours :( 
But t'was an awesome weekend. 3 weeks in Leicester drove me utterly insane- don't think I'll be trying that one again any time soon. Things I have done this weekend include:
  • going into the non existent town centre, seeing that it has in fact become even more shit since I last visited, and loving every single minute of it.
  • not being pelted by a gang of chavs with pea shooters (if this means nothing to you, I have a bit of a track record for it)
  • driving to Dixy chicken in Batley (even more shite town) and encountering a gang of chavs racially abusing the guy behind the counter. I'd feel bad for him, but I'm just really hoping he spat in their food.
  • Realising that I swear waaaay too much in normal conversation. And that I just tried to make the excuse to myself that the s word is not a swear. Must curb language.
  • Turning down the offer to go watch Avatar with my dad. Firstly, I'd rather be mooching at home with the family. Secondly, I just can't be bothered seeing it. Despite one of my groupmates informing me that it would change my life. I found a rather funny thing on the 'I still haven't seen Avatar yet' Facebook group, that shows how Avatar is just basically Pocahontas. :D See for yourself
  • worrying about results
  • teaching my small cousins the anatomy of the upper limb.
  • Laughing at the idea of Jamie's face on a gazelle. You should read his blog.
  • Pointless texting
  • wanting to see Alice in Wonderland *Spazzes*
Aherm. So yeah, that's it. Though I should mention that I saw baby bear and Hasan and aunty Em on skype and this was brilliant, even if all we talked about were the gory details of dissection. Aherm. Just a phase.

See also (YES! I'm resurrecting the 'see also' bit!): over-eating, Pepsi, hyperkalaemia, new headscarves, a multicoloured bracelet, cherry chapstick (which I want to eat rather than use), shingles, straightening of hair, pointless two hour seminars, latissimus dorsi and the thoracodorsal nerve, and my awesome penguin of death bookmark.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

The flipper equivalent of jazz hands.

The title seems strange, but it's exactly what the baby penguin on my new penguin poster is doing :D *Loves*. Yes, I have gone poster-mad. My latest addition is an Iron Man 2 one!! :D
Aherm. So yes, I promised I would dedicate (most of) this post to Saf, who was disgruntled at having not been mentioned in the last one. Those of you who do not know Saf- don't worry, he's a disturbing individual with whom I had English in Year 10- who decided to initiate our friendship by offering his hand for me to shake, and subsequently electrocuting me. Further good times have involved:
  • The time Mrs Field wore a Hu-YOOGE spider shaped brooch, that basically looked like a tarantula crawling up her shoulder. Saf took a look at it and quietly slipped into a coma. He never fully resurfaced.
  • Him bringing a PICNIC, an actual PICNIC to each and every single English lesson. Opening foil-wrapped sandwiches/chocolates/strawberry laces and crunching away at the decibel level of a small plane as I watched in disbelief.
  • When he added a creative touch to his poetry anthology by making a picture of a house with a garden, entirely out of strawberry laces that he stuck down. 
  • His running through cornfields with Miss Edgley, who had a weird soft spot for him... ¬_¬
  • Amnesty. Let's just say I did it for the fairtrade chocolate. I'm fairly sure Saf's motives were similar.
  • The biology quiz, in which we were asked to draw the structure of an amino acid- instinctively, I drew a load of beads on a string, instead of the chemical structure. It then occurred to me that this was probably quite a thick thing to do. I blamed it on Saf. The whole class believed me- after all, since when would I have made such a stupid mistake?!- and ridiculed him for a good few weeks.
  • And naturally, pizza hut cookie dough, with the Zainab also, on a Friday... :D And Morrisons trips to buy as much junk as possible. 
One for my list of people who I wish were at Leicester. I'd say I wish I was at Newcastle, but I'm brown, let's face it- I fit in well here at Leicester :D 
*waves to Saf*

Now where was I? (Yes, did I mention this would be a mammoth of a post?)
  • Dissection- we dissected the axilla, and had a look at the Brachial Plexus- generally nerves in the neck/upper arm region. We learnt bones of the arm and hands in a stupid amount of detail, but I'm kinda liking it :D Though washing bits of dead-person off my scalpel at the end...not so glamorous.
  • I have tomorrow off! WOOOOOOO! Yes, granted, alright, alright, I'm going to have to work most of the day, but that's not important! I CAN SLEEEEEP! And have Dixy chicken :O No *Curbs self*. Must control urges to eat everything. 
  • I am addicted to Oreos. Seriously. I think I have a problem. There is one left in the pack, and I swear it cowers every time I look over at it.
  • Certain people have finished their exams :O And will now begin rigorous exercise regimes to lose those revision pounds. It's all about the greater good, Emad.
  • My anatomy colouring book is AWESOME. I actually love it. Despite the fact that 12 GCSEs, an AS and 3 A levels since I last attempted it, I still can't colour between the lines. *Retarded moment*
I have nothing else interesting to say, except that I am in a particularly happy mood due to not having any lectures tomorrow :D 
Though I do miss home :( Attempting to make it 3 weeks, so not going home this Friday as I usually would. *Sigh*  Ah well. More time to try to teach myself how not to colour in like a spazz.
Also *waves to Aunty Em, Hasan and Baby Bear*
Yes, yes, I'm done now! Yeesh. Over and out. :)