Thursday, 25 February 2010

I am Jack's raging bile duct.

'What would you hear if you placed a stethoscope over an artery where the flow is turbulent?'
My answer: 'A small voice.' I feel that this sums up my academic prowess.

The Southern accent makes me want to burn people, I'm sorry. I encountered a group of four physics students on the bus, whose conversation went something like (okay, exactly like):
'So is THAT what you're saying: that COMmunism would work in SPACE?'
'Of COURSE it would. EVErybody would be dead. Therefore EVErybody would be equal.'
*A chorus of snotty, smug laughter*
'OH, my God. I just LITERALLY CANnot believe that they've transLATED the word 'entRADA' on that restaurant door into ENGLish underneath. It's like LITerally the most BASic word.'
*More smug, snotty laughter*
You know where in your head you act out an incredibly flash-violent scenario? In my head I stood up, took out my copy of Kumar and Clark's Clinical Medicine (about the size of a small house) and backhand -broke each of their faces.
In real life, I stared out the window and gripped my bag a little bit tighter. Seriously people, if all you've got to say is humourless shit, at least keep your voice down. We do not want to hear your whimsical  little observations on the world. If it reads like I'm overreacting, I had to listen to their conversations for twenty minutes. I was borderline psychotic by the end. 

In more sane news:
I passed my exams! And found out today that I was one off an 'excellent' ¬_¬ Damn them. Still, this is comforting, and I semi-feel like I deserve to be here now.
I cannot switch off. Even as I type this I am trying, on another level of my mind, to remember all the muscles of the forearm.Consequently, my brain hurts.
I have decided I want to be a histopathologist. That way I actually have a medical degree under my belt, but I get to spend the rest of my career tucked away in a lab, diagnosing  away without a git of a consultant breathing down my neck. Hidden away is best for me, I feel. I had a weird thought- I'm not intimidated by the idea of patients, it's interacting with my peers that scares me. Even now- I'm fine talking to people waay older,  or way younger than I am, but an utter fail at talking to other students of my own age.This makes me a freak.
Finally watched Avatar! And it was better than I thought it would be- though I could have predicted the storyline in the first five minutes. Still, it was visually awesome, so it was worth watching. Not that I could sit through it again :| Bloody hell. On another note, the Alice in Wonderland trailer looked AMAZING! :D Well going to see that.
Pizza Express is surprisingly nice. Oh, and speaking of pizza... *Goes off on pizza related thought tangent*
I miss the Office :( Anybody who hasn't watched the US Office- it is utter genius. Today I remembered this clip. Jim's facial expressions are awesome :D
Home tomorrow! I've been home 3 weekends in a row... guess that's what happens when I try to stay here for too long- this is just rebound from when I tried to stay in Leicester for 3 weeks. Still, it's a free ride with the awesomeness that is Aunty M, Hasan, Baby bear and Uncle Naeem (who has threatened to charge me but can't be serious...right?). Yay! Here's to a weekend of no work whatsoever.
And now I am going to Asda for food, before I get down to work. Properly. I WILL get down to work at some point. How I have used my day off so far: iPlayer, eating, watching an anatomy thing on 4OD (which counts as work, aherm), and now further eating. Damn, gotta love food :D

See also: disgusting John West 'light lunches', Robert Downey Jr, re-watching District 9, colouring in, being utterly heartsick, writing poetry (I joke), not getting my five fruits a day, sympathetic post ganglionic nerve fibres, not being able to switch off again, my 100% New Look wardrobe, and hoooooooooommmme :D

Over and out.


  1. "One off excellent" but didn't actually achieve excellent? I am disappointed in you. Fix it.
    Well done ^_^
    Stop eating so much crap! Argh!
    Go to the gym as often as I do...? That would be fun!

  2. Congrats on the exam results!!!!! :D
    Histopathologist? Um...interesting career choice. If you don't want to talk to peers but want to talk to patients you could be a GP. Oooohhhhh you could set up your own one man GP surgery! (Sorry, it's the friday-night fever talking):D

  3. Emad- I will stick the results up as a reminder of my failure (Y) lol. You'll never catch me anywhere near a gym ¬_¬ Evil places..
    DM- Thanks muchly, how'd yours go? And everyone has that reaction, lol. Hmm.. well, all GPs seem to be up themselves, and every time I see one I think 'Please don't let me turn into one of those.'But you have a point, it's probably more logical than locking myself away, lol.
    *Goes to enjoy Friday night* :D

  4. This is probably one of the most humorous blogs I've read in a loooong time :) haha stuff you say just makes me laugh! In a good way!! :D Now I know where to go when I'm down :p