I have been alternating between full on end-of-life depression and I-can't-do-this-I'm-in-the-wrong-degree, full on end-of-life stress and oh-my-god-my-brain-just-set-on-fire, and (very rarely- well, just once actually) full on manic happiness and hello-world-I'm-Tyrannosaurus-Alan-and-I'm-going-to-eat-you-for-breakfast. It was a sunny day. It had weird effects on me.
Yeah. It's been a wreck month due to work overload and life deprivation, and I've realised for definite I can't do longer than fortnights because I start unconsciously rocking and talking to myself towards the end of the second week and I don't want to see what would happen to me if I tried to stay a bit longer.
I have been trying to do better, though. Naturally, being a wreck in the beginning of year 2 doesn't bode well for year 3, 4, 5 and life. So I attempted to take measures to de-stress: I have officially started morning walks! Well.. on days when the weather isn't wet, because that'd be even more depressing. But still! It's nice to be alone and mentally write stories and..you know..be weird. I had another de-stress measure but have forgotten it, DAMMIT. Though I was also thinking of trying a new skill- Jamie gave me the instructions for a crochet penguin, so I'm going to teach myself crocheting :D And learning sign language would be awesome too... But that's probably unrealistic what with the lack of time to even eat these days.
Did I mention I'd developed a tea addiction? I don't even like tea :| I swore I never would, but it's because I've stopped having Pepsi, and so I think my brain just susbtituted it with another addiction. :/ Fail.
I shall make a list of things that have cheered me up recently in order to make this more upbeat!
- Seeing the family and the Wolves crew this weekend- Catching up with the brothers and dad, my mum falling asleep on my bed (and me almost falling off) on Friday night, chatting with Aunty Em until 4am, having very strange conversations with Hasan; the birthday party and Hasan's Toy Story cake (!!!), and just appreciating how adorable and bear-like Baby Bear is.
- Making notes with my coloured pens which are AWESOME, and make notemaking so much more bearable! :D
- 200 mile crosswords and other sad things
- ....That's about it! I feel saddened by this knowledge. Still, they were damn good in themselves.
A good endpoint, I believe. My brain is frazzled. I will blog more comprehensively when I can think in a more linear fashion.
OVER AND OUT before I bore even myself to death! :)