Thursday, 20 January 2011

The 5 Stages of Grief- as applied to exams.

1. Denial
Most likely phrase: "It's too early to revise, I'll just forget anything I learn now. Anyway, I deserve a damn holiday before I start."

Characterised by sitting at a desk, surrounded by textbook-skyscrapers to create the self-delusion of intended revision, whilst lost in BBC iPlayer/Youtube.

2. Anger
Most likely phrase: "Who's idea was it for me to do this shitty degree anyway?!"

Characterised by standing, pressed to the window of one's prison/bedroom, staring longingly at people walking outside, interspersed with bouts of rage-induced blood pressure spikes.

3. Bargaining
Most likely phrase: "Hello, God. again."

Characterised by making large donations to charity, and grand plans to use medical degree to cure cancer/travel to third world countries and vaccinate emaciated children.

4. Depression
Most likely phrase: "Are you going to eat that?"

Characterised by zombie-ridden nightmares, and life falling into a cycle of eat, sleep, study, with comfort being proportional to the amount of calories that can be acquired in one sitting.

5. Acceptance
Most likely phrase: "I heard they're looking for sales assistants at Gap."

Characterised by high pitched, slightly manic laughing fits and a silent, premature grief at the loss of one's summer holiday to the qualifying exam.

I'd say I'm smack bang in the middle of 4. Ah, well, can't be helped. *Goes to find more Maltesers*



  1. Please don't even try to get a job at Gap. Because then you will have ruined Gap for me.

  2. Awwww... *big bear hug* that blog made no sense at all, its kinda like reading an extract of a really great book, and your sense of intrigue ensures you buy a copy. Totally out of context but honestly, my heart goes out to you, if it makes you feel any better, if i was a doc I would sit the exams for you, mmm for a small price... (in dodgy russian accent). Hello emad! you got exams 2? all the best with the exams all you people. Oh and I agree, Gap rules, Humaira, get a saturday job there. Humaira... love you, it will all be over soon...and your life WILL resume. xx

  3. Emadness- Like I'd have to try. Pfft. They'd be lucky to have me :P

    Aunty Em- LOL, I am sorry, should've explained. So there's a theory in psychology about people going through the 5 stages of grief when somebody close to them dies. Or when someone gets diagnosed with a terminal illness. The five stages they generally go through are denial, then anger, then bargaining, then depression, then finally acceptance. Depressing stuff. But I decided it also applies to exam time too, because I have been through these stages, dammit! Lol, hence my blog entry, about how it applies to exams.
    And thank you muchly for the cheerup, I cannot wait to have my life back, and to see you guys again, when my life resumes! *Big bear hug returned*
    :D xxx

  4. oh! I thought you made up the sub headings. lol. Hey saeeda warsi was at your uni today, not that you are bothered.

  5. Don't despair :) You'll be fine. Just keep pushing on. You probably know more than you think and it'll all be worth it in the end. And don't worry, God's listening.
    *Hugs* Here, have a bag of virtual maltesers too :)