Sunday 9 January 2011

Catastrophising.

Yes. That time of year again. And to think, last June I thought life could not possibly get more stressful... ¬_¬ I now see that this will be an elevating pattern of stress over the next few years, provided I make it that far. And stress increase = not good, since my basal freak-out levels tend to be elevated anyway, and excuse the scienciness of the way I'm talking, I promise it will stop after exams.

*DEEP CALMING BREATH AND THOUGHTS OF FREEDOM*
Aaaand...exhale.

Yeah! Loving life at the moment. I have spent almost every day of the last 3 weeks of this 'holiday' confined to the bloody spare room (which I took over since it's more roomy, ahem), staring at the four walls and thinking about how I am slowly melting into a pile of fatness due to my only activities being eating/sitting/eating/sleeping. So to all the people out there who ask me how long I've got off from uni, and then when I say a month, raise your eyebrows and make snarky comments about how some of us work, SOD OFF.

(Not that that's aimed at anyone in particular, seriously, I'm just inexplicably angry these days.)

And my leg aches and I'm sure it's due to the calcium deficiency coupled with my inactivity over the last four weeks... :| OSTEOPOROSIS.

And I was listening to my heart recently (randomly, out of interest, because I am THAT damn exciting a person), and I noticed that my heart was skipping every five beats or so, and it'd been at least ten hours since I had pepsi, so it couldn't be the caffeine @_@ I get palpitations all the time, and I know you get them because of stress, but the hypochondriac in me is going a bit haywire. Which stresses me more. Which gives me more palpitations. Which scares me. Vicious cycle.

And what PISSES ME OFF about these exams (because no, none of the above was me being pissed off) is that I've BARELY seen my family/wider family, so WHAT WAS THE POINT OF IT BEING A HOLIDAY. PISS OFF UNIVERSITY. NOBODY LIKES YOU ANYWAY. PFFFFFT.

And what's more, despite having spent all that time stuck indoors learning shit which will undoubtedly be important at some point but which just seems pointless just yet (ions in the kidney...really?!) I can't remember any of it. Every time I spring a question on my unsuspecting brain, it just stares at me in a dead kind of way which makes me want to cry/burn things.

So...yeah. *Restrains self from several other 'AND ANOTHER THING-'s*

In other news! Or rather...the...three or so days I had off from medicine which has consumed my life and soul and is slowly eating away at my brain.

  • I met up with Jenny and Bryony! That's right! BOTH! This was awesome as it was the first reunion of our three musketeer/fellowship/thingy since before we started uni. I let out an involuntary squeal in the bus station when I saw Bryony, which startled an old man and for which I was HIGHLY embarrassed. And...yeah, it was rather lovely, being the first day in the holidays that I wasn't consumed by revision notes. Eating/reminiscing/gossiping/Frappe-ing/window-shopping/buying colourful bangles....all made it a great day :D
  • WOLVES!! Yep, we went down to Wolves and stayed overnight, and this was just awesome :D Baby Bear has developed a habit of going cross eyed whenever he's eating anything (we're not sure if it's concentration...or he just loves the food so much he loses interest in keeping his eyes straight). This never gets old to watch. Aunty Em and I had a great catch-up, and she made some pretty damn amazing food @_@ Let's face it..most of the time was spent eating. :D Hasan spent the weekend being quietly stressed at all the mess, like the OCD child he is :) Bless.
  • My computer...Dug...bless his heart, started crashing and I suspected it was due to the virus issue that was never resolved, so due to the irreversible corruption, I have a new computer! Tis rather damn pretty, it has swirly patterns :D Can't think of a name...I think a female name would be better due to the prettiness, but I am oh so tempted to call it Billy... :)
  • OH I NEVER MENTIONED, The Wolves trip was more like a family road trip, due to the...well..whole family going. We had a convoy (as is custom for Asians) of four cars, and in our seven seater were the five of us and my grandparents. And my dad said I should drive @_@ Which I didn't mind- I've motorway-ed before, but just never with six other souls on my conscience. Ahem. My grandma, bless her, literally prayed the whole time I was driving, and my grandad, who was sat in front with me, dared not talk in case I get distracted and veer off the motorway. It all went fine (two near death misses, one my fault, ahem) and I successfully drove for two hours before we had to stop at services and my dad offered to swap with me due to me shaking due to the near death experience that was not my fault. Ahem.
  • Christmas/New Years TV was a bit...awful, was it not? Apart from Doctor Who, obviously..but even that, I didn't like too much... It was too Russel T Davies for me. I expect Steven Moffat's stuff to be darker/eerier/less...cheesy. Still, NEW SERIES SOON...ISH :D
  • Some people need to watch Life On Mars ¬_¬
  • I WATCHED INCEPTION FINALLY AND IT WAS AMAZING
  • Do you see what my life has become?! @_@
  • Oh, and the highlight of the week..? Colouring in. Yes. And it is a sad state of affairs when I enjoy colouring in, trust me. Usually gives me a blood pressure spike since I don't have the patience. Don't get me wrong, colours are great, but once I've filled out the outlines of things, I can't be arsed with the rest. Behold, then, the awesome masterpiece that I like to call....'The GIT' (Gastrointestinal Tract. Ahem.)


Yeah...that's about all I have to say, since my brain has started calculating how much work I could've got done in this time, and it is not a good thought, so before the guilt becomes too much for me, I shall leave you and wish all of you (all...two of my readership that have exams) the bestest of luck and by that I mean not sleeping in/losing understanding of English/being crushed by an anvil/other visions that I have had as a result of my catastrophising. Just...yeah. I hope the mutual zombieness pays off.

In a while! Hopefully when I'm less...just....less of a disaster. :)

6 comments:

  1. *GASP*
    You said you would wait until I updated my blog (an hour ago, ahem) before posting yours! LIES! =P
    Well done on the Inception. Told you so. No I am not watching Life on Mars.
    Well done on replacing that HORRIBLE "computer" =P
    Well done on revising. Revise MORE!
    All shall be fine.
    *Thumbs-up*
    =D

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  2. :O! You know I waited, and that the time signiature on my blog is just wrong and I don't know how to change it, nasty person! ¬_¬
    You said you'd watch Life On Mars at some point! The one thing I recommend, pfffft. Go away.
    All shall not be fine. All is lost.
    *Launches into dramatic monologue. Again.*

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  3. Breathe Purple Pyro, breathe. *Virtual hug* As I keep telling myself (I don't actually listen to myself though) everything will be fine. But I totally get everything you said - stupid uni, what's the point in calling it a holiday. Stupid medicine. Grrr. And stupid people for feeling hard done by when we get 4 weeks "holiday" Good Luck for the exams :D
    Inception is amazing!
    Oooh, I love new computers :) Although I love mine too much that I think I'll cry when "my baby" dies. Yes, it's my baby.
    I'm sure its not calcium deficiency, it's probably just cramp. Or muscle wastage from your lack of exercise. Sorry, I kid you :)
    Holiday TV was shocking this time round. Although Dr Who was epic. I love how no one even raised an eyebrow at the flying fish...
    Medical colouring books are amazing and a godsend :)
    Good Luck again :D

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  4. another witty post :) Good luck with your exams

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  5. Heyllooo :)
    I got a mention in your blog, I feel inexplicably swelling with pride and happiness :) It was lovely to see you too - especially the old man bit hehe
    Also I have no exams, just thought i'd rub it in. Is that my anatomy book I see? If so I'm glad it's being put to good use!
    GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR EXAMS AND EAT LOTS OF CHOCOLATE AND DRINK LOTS OF PEPSI
    *intense over capitalisation*
    waveeessss xxxxxx

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  6. IC- Thank you, I am glad you empathise, but mourn your loss of a life as well, lol. Oh, crying would be understandable. Dug's slow death hit me hard. Lol, aww man, I didn't enjoy the Doctor Who that much, apart from it being a return for Matt Smith (yay!). I think I'm just averse to the Christmas ones in general. Good luck to you too! :)

    HHH- Thank you, I try (a bit too hard) lol :P Hope uni's going okay for you..?

    Bryony- Hello!:D Lol, it was a definite highlight, and well overdue! Why would you torment me...? ¬_¬ just cruel. And yeah it is, pretty damn helpful as it turns out!
    THANK YOU I SHALL DON'T WORRY AND SHALL BE REWARDING MYSELF WITH A FRAPPE POST EXAMS :D
    Enjoy...further essaying then, lol, and we shall continue letter writing, dammit!
    *waaaaaves* :) xxx

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