"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies..."

Right, so I'm sat at my desk with fifty revision books/textbooks set out in front of me, and I can't quite bring myself to face enzymes and enzyme regulation just yet, thanks very much, so I'm avoiding it like the plague. Suffice it to say that today was a royal failure for revision, through no fault of my own, and I'm going to stop talking about revision now because it's depressing me.

On the plus side, I'm wearing the loveliest pair of grey striped wrist (forearm?) warmers known to man- they have holes for your thumb to go through! This, coupled with my fluffy slipper-boots, means I am so cosy it's unebelievable. *Loves*

SNOW! I'm always enchanted by snow. It's the way it sparkles- I am a sucker for anything that sparkles. And it's so deep! I may have got frostbite in my toes (still can't feel them, three hours later), but it was worth it :D I took waaay too many photos- the view from my bedroom window is epic, especially when it's all white (landscape racism...?)

Oh, and Emad made his first snowman today! I felt that it needed permanently recording, despite him not having elaborated on it yet. The world (or...the other three readers) should know, he has discovered his youth.

Sherlock Holmes next week! *Downey Jr happy attack* And Doctor Who! And Hamlet! I will find the time ¬_¬

OH! John Simm is going to play Hamlet at the Sheffield Crucible in September 2010!! I've never been to the theatre, and if the first time I went was to see him doing Hamlet, I do believe I might die of happiness. What a legend, and what a play :D So if ANYONE feels like they might owe me some huge debt (hey, it's possible), then look into it, and you'll shoot to the very top of my 'favourite people/people who do not intimidate me' list. How does that benefit you, you might ask? Well... I'll figure something out :) Currently my plan is, if nobody comes forward, to perform a spontaneous emergency tracheotomy on some unsuspecting passer by in the street, thus earning their gratitude, and guilt tripping them into buying me tickets. Anyone got a better idea?

Current obsessive phase- Green Day. I listened to Boulevard of Broken Dreams for the first time in years, and it brought it all flooding back. Dayyamn.

Also, plan on watching 'Let the Right One In' tonight. It's apparently good, have wanted to watch it for a while.

Right, I need to STOP procrastinating and get on with some work :(

*Drags feet*

Over and out... unless anyone's got something important to add, which would mean I'd have to stay and couldn't possiby return to my work...?

No...?

*Sigh*

Myelinated/Unmyelinated axons.

The title isn't relevant, but that's what came up as a suggestion in the box when I started typing 'M...', and I was so amused that I decided to keep it :)
After over half of my readership (2 out of 3) contacted me with regards to updating my blog, I felt that I must respond to popular demand and oblige. So here I am, conveniently finding the time to update just as I finish my breakfast (prawn sandwich, chocolate Frijj, and a Muller Amore walnut and greek honey yoghurt, with mint matchmakers for dessert) and have no other excuse to avoid work.
Eid last week, and a four day weekend! Dayyamn, it felt good. Even if I still haven't caught up with the lectures I missed on Friday (yes, that's what I'm meant to be doing now). Nice to have the whole family round- it gets quiet in Leicester. And naturally, I stuffed my face. Oh, I forgot to mention the disastrous train journey home on the Thursday- a suicide on the line up ahead meant the train stopped for about an hour, then got diverted, then terminated in the middle of nowhere :| Not good. Just something about me and public transport.
I think I blogged about that time I slammed face first into a guy on the bus, during the first few weeks of uni..? Well, people, I did it again- except this time, I called the lift, and when it arrived I naturally stepped forward, only to find my face embedded in the jacket of the guy walking out of it. We simultaneously shouted 'Shit!', except my shout was noticeably muffled. Here's to social suicide.
Our first HOMED fundraiser thing is this week- yay! Collecting basic household items for 'welcome to your new home' packs for people who get moved into their own accomodation. And we're making it a competition between groups :) Woo
Oh, we had our communication skills seminar- finally had to interview the simulated patient about 'knee pain', in front of the rest of the group. Incredibly nerve wracking stuff. But apparently it wasn't evident that I was close to vomiting over the actress playing the patient, so this can only be a good thing.
Iplayer is still down! It hasn't worked for almost two weeks now! I cannot cope! *screams* I NEED to watch Spooks. And it was a Lucas episode last week too :( Bloody John Foster internet. They pick their times.
I have discovered a new tolerance for soup, despite the fact I used to detest it because it reminded me of illness and depression. However, I can now get through Minestrone with croutons quite happily. I do like croutons....
Oh, and I would like to note, for the record, that I haven't bitten my nails for over a month and now have visible nails! This is awesome. I give it til exam week.
And I finished a story! Or rather, finished the first draft. This is progress. 
Since Emad's posting music videos lately, I thought I'd go back to a classic Office clip (except I have no idea how to embed, so you'll just have to make do with a link) : 

The Office- Yeppers

Over and out :)

You know it's bad when your virtual voice is louder than your actual voice.

I thought I'd take the advantage of blogging whilst I was in a good mood :)
So I went home last weekend, due to yet another three day weekend being FORCED upon us by these crazy admin people. Fun :) A shopping spree in Huddersfield, pizza hut etc. This is me with Harold Wilson in front of Hudds railway station, where they've built amazing fountain-like things. It's rather lovely :)

That purple one is the waterfall-y thing that changes colour! I spazzed.
Plans for this week include two days at De Montfort uni where we'll do an interprofessional development session, ie work with nursing and pharmacy students to do group activities and learn the importance of multidisciplinary teamwork... :| Basically to stop doctors being so cocky, and nurses hating doctors so much. I think it'll be alright-ish.
Also, on Wednesday might be visiting a day centre for homeless people in Leicester to look round and decide on fundraising ideas, which I'm really looking forward to. Either way, I'm on the HOMED committee now :D This is very cool.
I've managed to lose my voice, and acquire what appears to be a man-voice in it's place. Or it was a man voice. It's now progressed to a sort of low, husky tone which becomes a squeak if I raise the tone of my voice. Woo for loss of dignity.
Went for a group outing on Wednesday- Nandos and then we watched 2012 (Ben and Jerries chocolate fudge brownie- DAYyamn). This was rather awesome.
And I spent the last two days horribly depressed, but have suddenly managed to cheer up. Personally, I believe it was due to the return of some semblance of creativity, since I was able to write four pages of story today :D Haven't been able to write owt for aaaages. This means I am not an utter failure.
Not much more to add, except home next weekend :D wooness
Certain songs by Taylor Swift may have become slight obsessions. Aherm.
I swear there was something else important...it might have to wait...
*waves*
Over and out :)

The utter lack of sunshine (except on a mug).

A collection of things that have happened, in the order that I remember them:

• T'was my birthday on Saturday! Had an awesome 3-day weekend generally surrounded by the family and far too much food, and felt well loved *warm fuzziness*. Awesome presents included a Toshiba netbook (!!!) which I have named Dug, a Little Miss Sunshine mug (I believe it may have been sarcastic), a LOT of chocolate, a penguin of death bookmark, a cat of glory, a small balloon, a trinket box, general money (given in sympathy, due to my student status), an amazing perfume, Woolies online pic n mix, and a personalised Thorntons chocolate box with an adorable photo of Hasan on it! The list makes me sound incredibly materialistic- I just want to be able to remember in a year's time, lol. In fairness, I would have truly just been happy being home for that weekend. After a  fortnight in Leicester, I was flagging.
• I have been assigned a dissertation patient with an underlying condition that I have to study, and this is very cool indeed.
• My mental state has declined over this week, due to the utter shit-ness of the weather, to the point that I was reduced to not being able to move yesterday out of sheer depression.
  
• I am heartsick. Utterly, painfully heartsick. Words fail me.
  
• I have once again started putting on that nasty nailbiting stuff after it became apparent that getting into medical school was not enough for me to stop eating my fingers- I was unable to touch anything last Friday due to fingertip-agony.
• I have discovered that finding out you have a parcel waiting at reception is possibly the most exciting feeling in the world.
• We, as a family, have discovered the joys of skype. Yesterday I sat and had dinner with the rest of my family- they put the laptop on the kitchen table at home and talked to me like I was sat there with them, lol. It was great :D
  
• I got lost in Oadby, and despite literally not having a clue where I was, and freezing my face off, this was a lot of fun. Solo-walks are something I've missed a lot. Time to think and all that.
• I have an exam tomorrow. Who'dve guessed. She only writes a blog when there's something more important to do. Better get back to the bloody revision.

Well, thanks for making my birthday lovely, people :) The thought counts a lot. (*whispers* And the chocolate counts even more). Aherm, lol.
And on that bombshell, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to end the show. Good night!

Good mood (How's that for a change?!)

Evening :)
My train tickets for Friday are booked! HOME! *ET moment*
*ET moment comes to abrupt halt as Humaira stares, bemused, at lit-up fingertip*
Also, birthdayness on Saturday, always good :D Makes me feel like this:

Last year of being a teenager :| How strange. Not that I really did being a teenager justice, having avoided anything voluntary that included other people, but if I could go back I'd do it all over again, so what the hell. I am impressed that I've survived up to 18 though, following my assumption at six years old that life stopped at twelve. It's all been a bit 'abyss' since then.
I got post today! Admittedly, I sent it to myself, because it was a DVD I ordered. But that's not the point. Tis called 'In America' and Paddy Considine and Djimon Hounsou (YES! From Blood Diamond!) are in it. Woo.
Going to return Clockwork Orange having been told it's really not worth the hype by anyone I've asked. Anyone got any suggestions what to exchange it for?
My hands are covered in biro, as I have far too much to do and no capacity to remember it. I even resorted to making a list on the inside of my wrist. It spans the length of my forearm. Problem is it keep washing off, so I keep having to write over faded parts, which makes the list incomprehensible.I would greatly appreciate it if anyone who reads this would send me a text tomorrow that reads 'GP, MGD work, BAG, MGD book, CLOTHES'. Seriously. I will forget to look at my hand/wrist. I'm not particularly observant, not that you needed to be told that.
Yes, this was a blatant attempt to get out of work. Yes, I'm going to do it now. Before Spooks! :D
*waves to all*
:)

Conversations with Homeless People

I'm warning you now, it'll be a kind of lengthy post. :)
Before talking about the title, I should first point out the awesomeness of last weekend- Three day weekend, two birthday parties, one in Wolverhampton, one in Dewsbury. Much cake and generally amazing food was eaten, and much catching up was done with the ever-more-immobile Aunty em :D Thank you, by the way, t'was lovely. Hasan, as ever, was gorgeous, and his rendition of a Dark Dark Tale was spine chilling. Once back in Dewsbury, further junk food was had, plus another cake and my mum's generally awesome cooking. Catching up was also done with parents and brothers, which was rather lovely. And I found that Archie had a cold, and my dad was administering human eye drops to him... apparently you can... *shrugs*
The downside: being pelted with peas by ten little shits (from either Earsheaton or Chickenley) in Asda, who had peashooters and weren't afraid to use them against brown people invading their chav turf. Grr.

Minus what shall be referred to as the frozen vegetable incident, great weekend. Aherm.

So I ended up in Leicester city centre today, and decided to just wonder round. My theory was if I got lost a few times and re-navigated my way back to the bus stop, I'd get a better idea of where everything was. I *think* it worked. Wondering round by myself was nice :) I haven't really had a day when I've been free to do anything, without a schedule, for a while now. Time to think, and all that. I bought several pointless items- junk food, and Clockwork Orange on DVD, because it's one of the few things I want to watch before I read the book.   
Going into Cafe Nero for a panini, I went to sit down and was stopped by a Bosnian woman with two babies. She had some paper asking for help because she needed to buy food for her kids. I gave her some money, however naive it was.
I was waiting at the bus stop to come back, when an Asian guy approached me- it was a slightly more disturbing exchange:
Guy: Sister, do you think you could help me with 70p for the bus?
Me: (He looked slightly dangerous, so I thought I'd just give him it) Erm..yeah. Hold on.
Guy: You a student? Just been shopping? Bet you're tired, bless you.
Me: (Smile and nod etc) Here's 70.
Guy: So...what do you think of them illegal drugs, then?
Me: (Alarmed) What?
Guy: Skunk, weed, all that stuff...You think they mess with your head?
Me: I guess they do, yeah.
Guy: Yeah, I did em for a while, but then I got schizophrenia. Now I'm on tablets and stuff.
Me: (Looking for some kind of escape route, yet strangely interested) There is a debate about whether cannabis causes schizophrenia. (Yes, I realise the ridiculousness of starting this conversation with him, my head was screaming at me). I...stay away from them myself...
Guy: Yeah... it's bad for your head. Anyway, thanks for this sister. Bye!
And he walked away, leaving me a little bit unsure as to how to react to that. People at the bus stop were all pointedly pretending to read books whilst silently judging me. Woo.
I don't even know where to stand with stuff like that. I always take pity on people who ask for help, because with that woman, what if I was the reason her kids went hungry that night? Or if this guy actually was a bit mental, and homeless? My mum says I'm too soft though, and shouldn't have even talked to him. I guess she's right. *Sigh*. Not cut out for city life. 
So yeah. Now back at halls, reflecting on how most of the money I spent today was given to supposedly homeless people.And I didn't get cookies, though I will tomorrow when I go to Asda. Got oreos as a temporary substitute, woo!
Over and out, hello to all etc.

Grey days.

Utterly depressed. One of those days, I believe. Of course, it could be down to the fact that it is horribly grey outside and there hasn't been a hint of blue in the sky since yesterday, and that it's just that nasty kind of rain that isn't enough for you to get out an umbrella but still ends up soaking you.
Urgh.
And I stayed in the library to catch up on work and still feel waay far behind. *Sigh*
And we've started genetics. Which tends to melt my brain at the best of times. 
And I'm blogging because my head hurts and so I do not wish to face Tissues of the Body just yet, thank you very much.
And I don't think I can face another vegetarian meal. :| Twenty nine minutes and counting.
And it's windy! Like the weather could get any worse!
And I'm now homesick because of the nastiness of this weather and day. 
Okay, I shall leave this pointless monologue where it stands and look forward to the only good point of today- the HOMED event which is tonight. Obviously, have to come back and do Tissues of the Body, but I suppose it's gotta be done at some point.
Bring on the weekend. ¬_¬

Societies and socialising.

Why yes, my title IS catchy :D I thought of it myself.
So the Medsin meeting was yesterday- it's kind of an umbrella society with loads of organisations/projects/campaigns going on, all centred around equal healthcare rights, locally and globally. I sound like their spokesperson already :| lol. But I did think they were wicked. The meeting was just them introducing all their projects, so you could pick out whatever you wanted to get involved in.
I really liked the sound of HOMED, which is all about removing the stigma attached to the homeless in Leicestershire- so you could do campaigns, or go to the shelters, or organise clothing collections, stuff like that. I think it would be wicked :D Also liked the idea of Crossing Borders, which helps asylum seekers in Leicester- so you can help with teaching English as a foreign language, or general stuff like that. They had a Christmas box collection last year so all the kids got presents at Christmas, it sounded really nice :)
Also, there's the Kenyan Orphan Project, where you get to spend two weeks in Kenya and visit the schools, health centres, GPs etc, and you get to spend time with the kids. It looked absolutely wicked, but I doubt I'll get to go since there's only like 11 places. Still, going to find out a bit more about it. 
Of course, I could be speaking too soon, but it's the kind of stuff I've always wanted to get involved in, so it's nice to have the opportunity there.
There was  Medsin lecture this evening, which I went to - Poverty and Parasites in Sub Saharan Africa. The speaker was a professor from Imperial College London, and the lecture was wicked. All about the different parasites, how widespread they are in Africa, and how easily treatable they are- the drugs are actually dirt cheap but it's just the organisation and distribution etc that gets complicated. I thought I should go because I've always thought that if I became a doctor, I'd want to go to Africa and be helping out where I was most needed. But obviously, being completely sheltered, it's a naive dream to have if I know nothing about Africa in the first place except for what I see on TV. So I'm trying to educate myself more about global health and how it all works. I think this was a good place to start, really glad I went. There's also going to be a Global Health week-long course in June at certain unis, so I'd love to look into that.
Lol, was well inspired :) I think it shows. Ah well. Can't hurt to have a dream.
I have nothing else interesting to say...just watching one of the documentaries that the professor recommended, all about sleeping sickness in the Congo. Interesting stuff, but quite sad. And I should probably be asleep, lol.
G'nite all (I say all, I have an audience of about 3).
:)
*waves*

Not-so-subtle-subtlety,

This is a blatant attempt, orchestrated by my subconscious, to keep me away from my work.
That and the Leicester Blackboard site won't let me access any of the work :( But hey, can't be helped. Times like these, my cool-head-in-a-crisis ability comes in use. Improvisation...it's just what I do. Guess I'll just have to...eat and then have a nap.
Hurrah! Or 'Huzzah' as a rather fantastic block-mate said yesterday, when he remembered my name :D
I have nothing new to tell. Well, I have lots to tell but I'm supposed to be using my time more productively. So I'm going for dinner now :)
Hello to everybody, and I promise more coherent posts at some point
:)
*waves*

Winding down like clockwork.

Asda chocolate sundaes make great breakfast :D
T'has been a hell of a busy week. Tuesday involved the scariest biochemistry lectures I have ever experienced, and in fact I'm only typing this blog because I'm avoiding the long calculations sheet we were given to complete in our own time- apparently we have to be comfortable with volumes, concentrations, dilutions and conversions. Who am I kidding- I knew that, I was just hoping it'd conveniently never come up :|

Wednesday- I went to see Sorority Row in the evening with my rather lovely flatmates :D The film was fairly awful, and jumpy (so I watched most of it through my fingers) but we had a laugh. In fairness I was concentrating more on my Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge chunk. Woo!

Thursday consisted of the most boring lecture on earth- Health and Disease in Populations (shortened to HADPop, but I'll never get used to that). Even the lecturer admitted it was pretty boring. I fell asleep for a good two minutes and woke up to Jessie and Sarah laughing at me. Bad memories of year 12 chemistry conferences where I may or may not have fallen asleep...

On Friday we had a lecture on consultation and communication skills at the Leicester Royal Infirmary- it felt very weird indeed sat in a hospital lecture theatre. We're going to have sessions where we get to take patient histories as a group, and practice taking vital signs etc. I think it'll be more fun than I'm expecting it to be. Things usually are... :)

Saturday- the ultimate laziest day on earth. Got up at 10 (which usually I'd be mortified at, but after a fortnight of seeing 06:30 on my alarm clock, it felt like I'd slept forever). I then toodled downstairs to the dining hall for 'brunch', which was decidedly nasty (a Hummus and carrot wrap?! Carrots?!), and then tried to work out how to get to Asda. Having found said Asda, I shopped (very economically- woo for Asda brand stuff!) and came back. Then dossed and slept and ate and watched inconsequential US dramas, sat with flatmates for a bit, then watched more stuff until about 4 in the morning (I didn't want to sleep early and waste my Saturday night). Also that evening, very scarily, we found a man wondering round our flat, with no reason for being here. He kept changing his story, then left when we all appeared in the doorway, :| So we called the warden, who said she'd seen him wondering round another block earlier, and she called security. I'm really hoping he was someone's dad, but it definitely didn't seem like it :| Using the peephole from now on.

Today I got up at 11, which felt goood, and because I didn't fancy the brunch after yesterday, wondered up to Asda again. It's a gorgeous walk :D All sunny with trees on either side and autumn leaves raining down *poetic moment*. I have brought myself cookies and some kind of jalapeno crisps to get me through the week :D Woo! 
Oooh, also, I saw the Head of Anatomy and Dissection in Asda!  Is it wrong to be starstruck by a lecturer...?
Now back to those calculations, I'm afraid.... *sigh*
In a while, crocodiles :)

An attempt at shorter blog posts.

So I'm going to aim for shorter entries from now. Aherm. Today I made a mind map. Do not laugh, because I'm fairly sure I've done it wrong (God knows how you mess up a mind map), and I'll find out tomorrow when my group laughs at me for being a plank.

I also think I'm getting slightly more used to this whole uni thing... Though everyone (okay, most people) seems to be really intelligent, and this makes me feel a little thick. When you're stood in a line for the Fresher's fair and there's guys behind you discussing the intertwining philosophy of religion and free market,  when all you can think of is the free pizza slices Dominos are giving out, you know something's wrong.

That pizza tasted bloody good after an hour in the queue though. Dayyamn.

Was collared by the Islamic Society (why do muslims have to pay, and non muslims join for free...?) and told to come to an Eid meal on Thursday. All I heard was 'free food' and before I knew it my hand was writing out my email address of its own accord.

Good god :| On the subject of food (because I can't seem to get off it), I've discovered I'll eat anything if I'm hungry enough. And I am hungry enough. I'll also sleep anywhere (although I already knew this, having slept on a cardboard box for three weeks when I stayed at my grandparents' house in Saudi several years ago. They ran out of beds and floor space. It was that or outside.).

So...is this about the right length for a blog..? I'll stop typing anyhow. Proper work starts tomorrow, so I may attempt to force myself to sleep now, as I seem to keep dropping off in morning lectures. 

Big shout out to all ma...erm...homies...(?) round da country. God knows why I just did that. I'm a little tipsy, naturally. Remind me never to drink again etc. :)

*Also waves to aunty em, her committed family member/reader*

In a while, crocodile.

LEICESTER!

So I write this from a computer in the medical building, where I am killing time before 11:00 when I have to go join my group to finish off a presentation, and there is a LOT to tell you so I'm just not gunna breathe and will instead plunge into a bullet point list which details pretty much everything that has happened.

• Sunday- Arrived fairly depressed at having to miss Eidness, and was left by family at about 1:00pm, so made the daunting walk to Beaumont hall where all the medics were made to 'mingle' til half 5. So I talked to people *shock horror* and went between different circles and generally was sociable. And Sarah discovered that I was coming to Leicester (as she wasnt' aware of this), so this was a good moment. Sunday night involved going to a Shisha place (no, I didn't, I don't and I never will) where I had chocolate milkshake and was talked to by very nice people in the older years. And just as I was going to get a taxi back to halls, some 4th/3rd/2nd years told me and another girl to come for a meal with them. Which was lovely :) Warm and fuzziness.
• Monday- I think the shock of moving away set in, because I couldn't find Sarah, and was talking to people but nobody in particular was sticking around. So, whilst wondering around the medic fresher's fair alone, I found myself welling up at very awkward moments and without any control whatsoever. Not good. Monday night, I discovered Sarah again and we decided to skip the pub (I know, but I can't party EVERY day) and watch the Tale of Despereaux in my room, whilst drinking hot chocolate. This was good, except for the film, which turned out to be shit. Let's just say the plot involves soup and a murdering troll-woman. Avoid.
• Tuesday- Highlight of the day- the last lecture, which we were told would be an actual subject lecture on Emergency Medicine. The lecturer was an absolute dragon, who refused to take questions and used complete jargon whilst flicking through the slides at 70mph. A guy who tried to answer a question was told his answer was stupid, whilst a girl whose phone rang was told to get out and not come back. Just as we were all wondering how to texplain failing this exam at the end of the year, the last slide came up, saying '100% of this lecture was true, but 0% is relevant to first year medics on their second day at medical school'. They got us good :) Apparently it's a yearly tradition, and all the older year medics were sat in the lecture theatre next door, watching us on camera and pissing themselves. Nice.
• Wednesday- A day of groupwork, and then at night we went to a comedy club thing,and 4 standup comedians performed there. T'was very funny indeed, and much fun.
• Thursday- More groupwork on a project about Leicester, and then me and another girl went and got Pizza Hut (but I had to sadly break into my emergency supply of pepsi cans, so I'm down to only one now :| Must replenish  stocks). In the evening, there was a film night for the non drinkers, where we watched Angels and Demons (I voted Blood Diamon, but we lost by one voter, dammit). I have discovered that Angels and Demons is even more shit the second time. Woo. Oh! And we visited the dissection room in the afternoon! Saw a cadaver, and were told all about the learning of anatomy. The demonstrator opened (?) the chest so we saw how the lungs, heart and liver all sit in relation to each other. I wasn't queasy, but if anything, it was a little depressing to think that this was a person :( Not something I think I'll get used to.
• And that leads us to now! Friday morning. Coming home tomorrow, wooness! It's sunny outside, hence my cheery mood, and me and Sarah walked through Victoria Park to get here, which is reeeeally lovely. Picnics would be great, and are in the pipeline. So yeah. The proper course starts on Monday, which I'm a little nervous about, but what the hell. Here now. I WILL make it work, lol. And from this weekend I'll actually have internet in my room too, so that's one good thing.

Over and out, people :) Hope all's good.
*waves*

Memories

Because they just have to be immortalised :)

• First day of year seven- turning round and saying 'hi' to the slightly high-pitched girl with a short brown bob, and the quiet smiley one with curly blonde hair and a headband :D
• Weardale- our year seven residential- Bryony scaring Jenny in her bunk bed. Me sitting in the corner of the pub at the disco, and refusing to budge, instead watching the teachers get slowly more drunk at the next table.
• Being told 'You are unique. You are special.' by Fozzard in our first RE lesson, and having to write a piece about just how unique and special we were. Sneddon walking in late after getting lost.
• Skiving drama lessons, telling Mr Hutchins I felt sick and then going to sit in the toilets for the rest of the lesson. Also, daydreaming at the crucial moment in the 'fall backwards' trust exercise, thus dropping Bryony. 
• Dr Williamson demanding of a terrified Beth: 'If I was a woman, where would my uterus be?!'
  
• France trip- Sitting outside a pub to drink coke and getting weird looks. Jenny falling asleep on my shoulder in the coach, and me pushing her out into the aisle :D
• Year 8- Miss Loosemore having breakdowns in maths lessons. 'That' fall out that took up most of the year. The SARS virus. Fran being a bitch. Mr Howard for chemistry, and his repeated use of the phrase 'magic'. Also, 'that' incident where he used a metre ruler as a Samurai sword to decapitate Pinder, having watched The Last Samurai the night before.
• Year 9- Mr Cowling as a co-tutor and IT teacher! Stuff of legends. Sneddon leaving, and our complete devastation at this. Us moving into the true 'corner' and carving our names into the wall/floor. Me finishing my first book, and handing it in a ringbinder to Mr North, who read the whole thing for me :D Mr North doing his 'ill' voice when reading Z for Zachariah. Traumatic RE lessons with Fozzard, and Jenny's 'S' humiliation. 
• Year 10- Finally, Mr Cowling as a form tutor :) English lessons- the amazing Mrs Field, meeting the strange short guy who called me 'weird girl', and who I later learnt was called Saf. Saf offering to shake hands with me, subsequently electrocuting me when I took his hand. Me living with my grandma. The Black Book. Lund. (No explanation needed)
  
• Year 11- Stu and Saf in English lessons: Painful. 'Touche'. Lund- again. Me having a full scale mental breakdown which culminated in being scared of everything- literally everything, insomnia, crying spontaneously, and an inability to walk into rooms. Me being coaxed from said breakdown by Jenny and Bryony (who were very motherly) and Mr Cowling (who just had his own nervous breakdown, which made me feel better). 
• Year 12- First critical thinking lesson- being paired up with the slightly paranoid-looking boy who refused to say more than a word, and who turned out to be Emad. Notes in lockers. "Call it". The Agency. Bursting into tears in school before January exams (having seen grade requirements for medicine), and having to be 'taken for a walk' by Jenny and Bryony, lol. Incredibly lengthy myspace comments/messages, sustained for over a year. Amnesty International and 'Troupey'. Lund. Yet again. Bangor, in all its horror, and a train journey sat opposite Lund, trying not to laugh whilst he read 'Astronomy today' magazine.
• Year 13- Fear of failure. The absolute horror of UCAS. The incREDibly long wait before I got an interview, and the many breakdowns I had beforehand. Cheese and Beans on toast. Thursday frees with Jenny, Bryony and Zainab, spent bitching about anyone who crossed our path, or in Superdrug, with me rubbing all shades of Barry M eyeshadow onto my hands. Friday frees- pizza hut cookie dough and Morrisons dessert counter :D Spazzing about Hamlet/The Great Gatsby. Exam horror. Emad's mood swings, followed by his spazz-happiness :D Lund- would you believe it- again. The fairly emotional last day, and running away from school on cloud 9. 

It's been...well, eventful :) I'll  miss you people, if not school in all it's nasty tangy-socks-stink glory. *Sigh*  I guess now I'd better go pack...?

Mood swings.

My brother said to me last night, 'You know next week, when you're away, it'll be the longest we've ever been apart?'. I pointed out that I'd only be away a week, before I visited home again next Saturday. And then realised he was right- we've never been separated for longer than four days. :( Totally gutted.
And Archie wondered into my room today, mooching around the house as ever. Tried to jump up onto my bed, I removed him, he wondered back out and fell asleep on the landing. I'm going to miss that too. Why the hell did the universe allow me to finally get a kitten one year before I had to leave home?! I'm going to have to smuggle him with me. And the pictures an old one, but it's one of my favourites, because he looks so guilty :)

Okay, so I'll try to be less prematurely-homesick and more excited, gimme a sec *clears throat, pulls self together*
Hey everyone! UNI in 4 daayyyyys! OMG soooooo excited!
No, I can't do it, sorry. By the way, the use of the word 'Hun' pisses me off. Why do girls call other girls this? Aside from the fact it's patronising and reminiscent of the WW2 term for the Nazis, as a shortened form of 'Honey' it just sounds so...disgusting. Urgh. 'Honey' is actually preferable, and that's a big thing for me to say. Why must girls insist on calling other girls darling/honey/sweetheart/love anyway? She's not your child!

*Rant over. Well, not in my head, but I'll stop venting*

Iftari (the time when we break the fast) was set to be a quiet affair today- just me and my mum. So she invited two of her friends over, which normally intimidates me but they're very nice friends, so all was good. They also brought their children- two boys aged 2-5 and a 3 month old baby. Suffice it to say our house became a nursery. With the average decibel equivalent of a small aeroplane. Maintained for several hours. In this time:

• An attempt was made to eat a small and fluffy Nemo cuddly toy
  
• A fly swatter was used as a makeshift sword, and everybody in the house subsequently 'killed'.
• A spiderman mask was donned, with the toddler wearing it transformed into a webbed superhero.
• A state of the art new television was smeared with at least three types of household food items.
• Lemon-scented cleaning wipes were somehow obtained, and used to 'clean' everything, including the toddler-in-question's shoes and mouth, in that order.
• A dressing-up king's crown was found, and worn, with an incredible amount of pride, for the rest of the evening.
• A substantial amount of strawberry yoghurt was propelled across the kitchen, after the perpetrator tried to blow a raspberry through a mouthful of petit filous.
  
• A small toy motorbike ended up in the jug of water on the dinner table.

And all this time, the little 3 month old baby sat quite placidly, staring at the ceiling.
Chaos. It was great, though. I made friends with the baby, even managed to get him to tear his gaze from the ceiling for about 3 seconds, to look at me :D He was delectable. Can you call a baby delectable? He was, anyway. Like a little bear *goes all warm and fuzzy*.
Aherm. So yes. I haven't packed yet. Is that bad..? I think it is... I'll do it tomorrow. *Thumbs up*
Over and out (I don't care, Emad! I like that phrase!)

Frayed nerves.

So..my blog is rebelling against me, and has refused to tell me when people leave comments, so I can't moderate them and therefore don't know if anyone's commented :( Saf left one, but only after he 'worked a bit of magic' in his own words- code for clicking the 'comment' button several thousand times until it posted. I mean, it's not as though I need comments to validate my existence (...aherm) but it'd be NICE if Blogger wouldn't be so NASTY after I FINALLY concede to starting a BLOG HERE! *Calms self*

So yeah... I wasn't intending on blogging every day, this is just a nervous reaction, because several things have come up at once since yesterday, after a long period of not having to worry about anything. And since I haven't worried in a few weeks, it makes a big change to have the same level of anxiety as I had on a constant basis for the last seven years. :| I know. Totally.

Firstly- Heartstart- Shehzad, the instructor got in touch and has asked me and Zainab to run another Heartstart course for two people from school who want it for their personal statements. This makes me anxious in two ways: Firstly, it brought back the whole personal statement nightmare of last September- bloody hell, bad times. Which in turn brings back all those mental crises I had, and even though they're irrelevant now, I still get that horrible stomach-dropping feeling when I think about it. Secondly, I worry about holding the course because I keep thinking I've forgotten it all, so I won't be able to relax until I've sat down and properly gone through all the theory/practical in my head, even though I know I have a basic grip of it all. Gah.

Second, Pass Plus- yes I am alive, it was yesterday. I nearly killed a van driver (and myself, and my instructor, and anyone else who was behind me) when I tried to change lanes and was checking the mirror, and didn't realise I was already veering into the lane. Aherm. Apart from that, it went swimmingly :) And I managed to maintain 70mph and not die! It's weird though, when you come off the motorway- 30 feels like a craaaaaaaawl. So it went fine in the end, but the initial anxiety about doing it has just thrown me off a bit and made me generally feel worried.

Thirdly, believe it or not, university. Alone. Like, me, alone, in a city. In principle, I love the thought of being alone. Practically..? Iiiiiii'm not so sure... Certain people had better come visit! I'm already waiting. I'd say I'll visit you, but you should know me well enough to be able to envision me ending up in Plymouth/somewhere obscure, having completely malfunctioned with my navigational skills. Or lack thereof. What am I going to do?! *Heads for the nearest corner for safety*

God, there's a thought...can you imagine if my room was round? :| It doesn't bear thinking about.

That and I'm going to miss people :( You know who you are and why, lol, so I'll spare individual sentimental addresses for another time. It took me seven years to make a small handful of friends, ie people who don't intimidate me, and act as the reassuring 'You'll be fine' voice in my head- you're telling me I've gotta do another seven, starting from scratch?! Well, universe, all I can say is you're a crafty git.

And so are you, blog, for refusing to allow me to read what comments I get :( <--- an attempt to see if the sad face elicits some sympathy from Blogger, which may then take pity on me and stop censoring my comments.

Impending doom.

This may well be the last time I am speaking to you. I have just been informed by the parents that I have been booked in for a Pass Plus lesson (against my will!) at 3:00. I don't WANT to drive on the motorway! It's too fast! I can barely stay at 30mph on the roads as it is. And dammit, I only had a week left. Thought I could get away with putting it off until uni :( But no, I have to take it because according to my dad, 'You're driving to Leicester next week'. :|

*Listens to the sound of impending death approaching. It sounds a bit likea small, silver Vauxhall Corsa being over-revved.*

In other news, I went shopping with my mum (again, bad idea walking past all those food stores...) and acquired a small saucepan, in which to cook noodles. And...uh, that's as far as my culinary skills stretch. So I was not amused when the checkout guy at home bargains decided to be funny when he scanned my 18 packs of noodles, and said 'DO YOU LIKE NOODLES?!' before chuckling to himself. Git. Somebody give him a stage.

Further uni shopping involved the purchase of some stripy plates. Argh! I am too easily excited. They are excellent though. And I got multicoloured mixing bowls, too. Not that I know what I'm going to use them for :/ I mean, really... But they're multicoloured, and I'm easily pleased. The glowsticks are still sat in their tube, waiting to be snapped, and I love the fact that I *Can* snap them when I want to. Hence, I will not snap them, because then that feeling will go away and I will panic- as soon as they're snapped, time is running out and I will HAVE to make the most of them. Aherm.

Oh, I also bought a range of OCD cleaning materials (as did Emad apparently, when I spotted him at the supermarket and WAVED and just got BLANKED :P I'll let that go eventually). And I have Sharpies, for no reason other than they are colourful. Though I do want a purple one :( I'm pretty sure I've missed off something major in my packing... *scratches head*. Ah well. I'll have to find out the hard way.

Argh! Pass plus! *stomach-twisty-feeling*

Late night mass MSN conversations are where it's at. We have discovered that 'Cheese' is a good topic for diversions, if it ever gets awkward. Namely 'Ooh, I do like a bit of gorgonzola'.

Also, my Chelsea Cain book arrived on Wednesday! Finished it Wednesday night, naturally. I haven't read anything that isn't proper literature in a while, so it was great not to try to think about it too much. Damn, I'm sad.

Oh, and the whole family (pretty much) is coming over tonight to eat :D I love it when we all get together. We hardly ever do though :/ Dayyamn.

Nothing else major. I'm going back to listening to the sound of impending death. Oh, god. Really do not want to drive on the motorway. And what if my instructor says I've lost all my driving skills since I passed?! What if he says I should never have passed?! Argh! *Runs away screaming*

So yeah. Was nice knowing you. In a while (or never), crocodiles.

A discombobulation of information.

The photograph on my desk calendar is not just of ice cream...it is soft, sumptuous, indulgent, cardiac-arrest-on-a-plate vanilla ice cream, drizzled with generous lashing of thick chocolate sauce...

Argh! This is what fasting does to me!

I had intended to write about my week with some sort of structure, but as ever, somebody knocked over the filing cabinet in my head, and then set fire to the contents, danced in the flames and THEN liberally coated the remains with chocolate sauce... No! *Stops self* There I go again.
I think I'll stick to a bullet point list of things that have happened, in no real order...

• Jenny bought me a penguin finger puppet! ARGH! I talk to him constantly. And I have named him Dylan, in her honour.
• I have attempted to 'pack', in the vaguest sense of the word, for university (since I go on the 2oth *Moment of nausea*). This has involved erratic visits to Huddersfield, where I have ended up buying nothing but food for later, along with small items that I really do not need. The latest addition to the pile in the middle of my room: a hairdryer. I don't think I was in need of one, but myself and the brother have had lots of fun blowing it in our faces and making our cheeks ripple. So it was worth it.
  
• Bryony is currently engaged in slow motion running through fields to...oh, what was that theme again...?! :D
  
• I started a blog! This is, in fact, said blog. I am rather excited, even though I can see myself being the only reader within a month. Still, it's nice to talk to my computer. *waves to laptop*
• I ordered the 3rd Chelsea Cain book, the release of which I've awaited for over a year. Dayyamn! Very excited. It should arrive at some point next week. I'll have it read before uni.
  
• I have taken to re-watching the US Office...and rewatching some more. And I have discovered that conversations can be held with some people in Office quotes alone :D Yes, that sad. Tried watching some of the British one, but I really didn't like it as much. Steve Carrell is a legend.
• Saf and Emad are moving in together. No, really. Personally I think it's too soon.
  
• Can't wait for the new Sherlock Holmes! Yay for Robert Downey Jr!
• I have realised that I am overusing exclamation marks. This shall be curbed.
• Bought the best pair of Sketchers on the planet. Though I love all Sketchers.
• My mum has taken to stopping mid-flow of any activity, and saying 'Who's going to do this when you're not here any more?!'. I have had to take great pains to explain to people that I am not leaving home forever. My family is still determined to accompany me to Leicester in a convoy, fully equipped with all Asian foods imaginable, and streamers etc for Eid celebrations. Great stuff.
  

I've rambled. I'll stop now, since nothing else of interest has happened (or if it has, I've forgotten it).
In a while, crocodile.

A small introduction (ie me working out how to use this bloody thing).

Well, Saf has officially declared this blog open! (After it had already been opened, but the sentiment is there.)

I feel it necessary to acknowledge influences in the creating of this blog, thus anchoring them into a binding contract of readership at the same time :) Saf and Emad, you know who you are. Aherm.

Also, thank you Emad for the title, which I thought was great due to my own pyromania, and my slight obsession with the Chariots of Fire theme- let's face it, it's a great theme.
However, other excellent title suggestions made by Saf deserve a mention:

1) The Purple Pyromaniac- A good idea, but I thought it was a bit predictable.

2) The Purple Pyromaniac Pomegranate- A better idea. I liked this, and it was a close second.

3) The Purple Pyromaniac Pomegranate Pants/Parsley/Parsnip/Pissface- I was not too keen on these variations, to be honest.

4) Oh wait, I'm the immigrant here- This was something I had just said, which Saf suggested as a potential title. Whilst it rings with some truth, I felt it might discombobulate people.

Right, so titles aside, I will begin actually blogging in the next post, as I did on my Myspace blog, regardless of dwindling readership and the many adversities I face in being on this site. I felt the need to set a blog up because I have the constant urge to vent everything I think onto a page in a kind of brain-spew. Fetching, I know, but what the hell :) I'll keep this up for as long as I can before I'm beaten down by the strain of being a student, but hopefully not before I've brain-spewed about that too...

Finally, I say hello old beans to The Jennifer and Bryony. Hello old beans. Or boons. And of course, this hello is extended to all three/four of you out there who will occasionally visit this collection of unrelated musings.

As a signing off statement, I'd say 'Over and out', but Emad gets quite angry when I use that, so as a temporary measure:

In a while, crocodiles.